Page 8 - TheMoralOfYourStory

8 CHILDART THE MORAL OF YOUR STORY APR-JUN 2021 9
KAREN J. DIEFENDORF, MDIV, STM, THD (HONORARY)

CHAPLAIN (LIEUTENANT COLONEL), US ARMY (RETIRED)
FORMER DIRECTOR OF CHAPLAIN SERVICES
TYSON FOODS, INC.
ELGIN, SOUTH CAROLINA

As a child, I loved the Fourth of July. My family had traditions Norms—what a group would view as right and wrong
to celebrate this day. My dad had the day off from work. He actions or behavior
loved having our extended family—grandparents, aunts, Morals—what “is” right and wrong
uncles, cousins—all come to our house for a cookout. Ethics—how a person reasons or decides what is right
There was a small park, not far from our house, with a lake and wrong
where we kids could swim. And then there were fireworks Law—society’s way of creating norms for behavior,
at night. But not every family in our neighborhood had with associated consequences
these traditions.
Think about a time when you had a disagreement with
Along with the fun of our traditions, I was learning family someone. You couldn’t imagine how they could think that
values. I learned to be cautious about things that could way! If you take a breath and let go of your emotions in
be dangerous, like lighting firecrackers or swimming too that argument, you learn to listen to your friend’s reasons
far from the shore. I learned that my family valued safety for thinking what they do—their ethics. When you are more
and that it was right to obey my parents’ warnings. But interested in what they did than what they thought, that’s
I had neighbor friends who seemed to have no fear and a morals issue!
far fewer rules—their parents didn’t mind if they lit their
own firecrackers and didn’t accompany them to the lake.
Were those parents less caring? Were those parents wrong A moral dilemma occurs when two
and mine right? Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s just that of your strongly held values cannot
our families did things differently. How about your family
and other families you know? What beliefs, traditions, and both be kept at the same time.
values are similar or different and how does this affect the
choices you make?
Here is an example that illustrates how many of these
How do you know what’s right and what’s wrong? That’s influences come into play. Imagine that you and your
a particularly important question. Our first teachers of friend are in a store and your friend picks up a package
right and wrong are probably our families, whether that’s of baseball cards with bubble gum and slips it into her
parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles. We may learn from pocket and leaves the store without paying for it. You might
watching our siblings or cousins. Most of us begin to learn say, “Hey, you can’t do that. That’s stealing. That’s wrong!”
this when we are learning to crawl or pull up to a table. I’m (morals). Your friend might respond, “They’ll never miss it.
fairly sure my mother said, “No, no,” when I reached for the Besides, they’ve got more money than I do!” (ethics—her
wrong thing and praised me when I reached for the right reasoning for why it was OK to do it—we refer to that as
YOUR thing. Our impressions of right and wrong expand when “justifying” what we do). This presents a moral dilemma
for you. Can you still hang out with her? Should you tell
we go to school. For the first time, we have our values
either reinforced or challenged.
the store owner? A moral dilemma occurs when two of
ANSWERS, You are now at the age when you understand the difference your strongly held values cannot both be kept at the same
time. In this case, the values might be honesty and loyalty.
between right and wrong and your responsibility for your
The value that wins will determine your choice to either
actions. It’s important to know how we develop our views.
tell the store owner and possibly lose the friendship or to
YOUR The following things all influence what we decide is right keep quiet and keep the friendship.
and wrong:
Our morals are important and how we keep them, individually,
Facts—data; things supported by evidence
affects how we live together in our neighborhoods and
MORALS Beliefs—ideas and opinions that interpret what we towns. Laws (actions a community expects) won’t matter
experience and guide us in what we do; may or may
much if no one keeps them or if they aren’t enforced. This
not be based on facts
Truths—applications of facts and beliefs that help to is part of what makes us able to live together safely. Our
community values life, so we stop at stoplights. So, what
guide one’s decisions are your expectations for how people ought to act? How
Myths—stories that teach a lesson, principle, or moral should we treat one another? What do you think? Your
about a behavior answers reveal your morals.
Values—most strongly held beliefs

ARTWORK ELAINA MCTAGGERT (9) GEORGIA, USA https://icaf.org
ARTWORK ERSI LARAS HIDAYAH AGE 12 INDONESIA